Social Media pt2

As with every day, today I got up in an ok mood, not really one way or the other. I freaked out early that I had gotten the day wrong, but I hadn't, so I calmed down again. I had a text I didn't want to have, and that took the shine off a little. I finished listening to a TED talk from last night about depression, and it made some good points, so I didn't feel anxious. I was still trying to catch up on sleep from a few days ago, when I didn't sleep for an entire weekend, and just sat up trying to keep my thoughts quiet with documentaries. So I got up very late, and went to fetch some breakfast. I tried to keep a positive frame of mind by putting on a shirt with shorter sleeves so that hopefully I could do some painting at some point during the day and not use the wrong clothes as any kind of excuse. I brought my breakfast back upstairs because I was ashamed of the time and I felt like the people in the street 150 metres away across the field and over the wall might decide to come up the drive and would look at me. I looked at Facebook on my computer, and almost immediately had a combination of the hedonists telling me how great their party had been at the weekend (the one I'd been too scared to go to), and the nihilists telling me indirectly that I ought to die. And now I'm not sure how to do anything, because I lost the little piece of motivation I had this morning, and I want to go to bed, although I've only been up an hour. It was my own fault, I was foolish to see what people I know were up to. I can't believe any of them are my friends. Why would they be? I can't see any part of myself that isn't a persona that they would like. They have standards.